Backfire
by aaeiilnn
Summary: Something terrible has been happening all over the universe, and none of the Avengers can understand why. Or, maybe, some are just hiding something. Rated M due to TW: death, mentions of suicide, attempted self-harm {Part II of Inevitable Series: Alternate Ending for Endgame}
1. Backfire

**ENDGAME SPOILERS. Part II of Inevitable Series**

**It's better to read Not Over Yet first, but you can just read this and deduce what happened. NOY is a good ending though. This one... not so much...**

_**TW: mentions of death, mentions of suicide, slight attempted self-harm**_

_**Summary: Something terrible has been happening all over the universe and none of the Avengers (and their extended families and honorary members) can understand why. Or maybe, some are just hiding something.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel.**_

**《A》**

_... 2 Years Later ..._

"You still haven't found the cause for it?" Carol Danvers asked through the holographic communication device. She frowned in worry at their response. "We have to put more effort in and find it quick. I've recently been to Xandar and it's been happening there as well. Much more worse there, I think."

Quill sat up in his seat, suddenly paying more attention. Him and the rest of the Guardians had dropped by for a visit (and to add more songs in their music player) on Earth, but they were greeted with news that things were just getting worse. "Wait, it's happening _there_ too? What did Nova Prime Irani Rael say?"

"Nothing. She was one of the...victims." The Guardians were suddenly still and silent.

"It doesn't make sense!" Bruce exclaimed. The rest of the people in the enlarged meeting room looked at him. "So many people are dying, and they're ruling it as suicide! Mass suicide?! Does that make _sense_ to any of you?"

Tony Stark tilted his head. "Well, there was a famous case before of a mass suicide, wasn't there? FRIDAY, bring up Jonestown."

An article appeared on the table in the middle of the room, everyone moved to look closer and read it, but several quickly stepped back at seeing the pictures. "What a horrible thing!" Mantis cried out, but she still looked closely at the pictures of people scattered across the ground, lifeless.

"1978." Tony narrated. "They had a religious leader promising them paradise, and this was their way. Even had mock suicide drills, if I remember correctly."

"Why would they do that?" Wanda whispered, horrified at what she was reading. Clint placed a hand on her arm as a way of moral support. FRIDAY continued from where Tony left off and gave them other related or similar articles before they were left in silence.

"They were manipulated, probably." Loki spoke up from his corner. Thor and Heimdall sat on his right, and his brother shot him a curious glance. "Not by _me_, you idiot." He rolls his eyes. "I have no reason to do so now, especially since we've been busy travelling the realms. And Danvers says even planets from other universes suffer from it. My power does not reach that far, despite how flattering it is that you all seem to think so."

"It is a bit disconcerting that you never say you'll never do it, brother." Thor clapped a hand on Loki's shoulder. "Nevertheless, I believe you. So, what can do this? Perhaps you have an idea, Strange?"

"I'm afraid it doesn't matter," he muttered in response. "I have suspicions, but none of my methods would aid us in figuring out what can be done. I believe that there are those who know of the cause, and it is up to them to reveal it to the world."

"Question, why are you _always_ here if you can never tell us anything?" Tony exclaimed. "14 million possibilities and you never told us which road to take! Secret reason that people are dying, and you won't let us try to fix it!"

Doctor Strange just looked at him for a moment before turning away. "As I cannot provide anything helpful in this meeting, I shall take my leave."

"Good job, Tony." Natasha murmured from beside him when the sorcerer had created one of his portals and left. "You scared the wizard away." Tony rolled his eyes at her sarcastic tone before looking up at Gamora who started to speak up.

"So, it's happening in the entire universe. And you have no idea what's causing it." She looked at each of them. "What now? How are you going to find those people who know what the cause is?"

"Take a break?" Rocket answered, Groot nodding beside him. "We've been sitting here and discussing for hours, we aren't getting anywhere. Those people just need to speak up."

Carol looked away from the group before turning back. "I have a situation. I think it's happening again, I have to go." And she walked away, her hologram disappearing, leaving the rest of the team in silence once more.

Tony kept tapping his fingers on the table softly until he suddenly slammed his hand on it loudly. "Raccoon's right." He exclaimed, despite protests from the small creature. "We don't have answers now. And we won't find them sitting around here. Avengers, disassemble!"

Sam, the new-2-years-ago holder of the famous Captain America shield and title, shook his head at the words, but stood up from across Tony anyway. "Maybe we can send out word for people who know the cause. Until then, we just have to keep looking and trying." The unspoken _'because there's nothing else we can do about it right now'_ echoes through the room. When he moved to leave, it only took Bucky a second to stand and follow as well.

One by one, members of the meeting left the room, until there were just a few of them scattered around the table.

"T'Challa says it's happening a lot in their place too, doesn't he?" Quill asks as he stood. Natasha nodded in response, and he looked down, thinking. "This is just so weird. Everyone's saying they don't notice anything from the victims, then it just happens one day. Just like that."

The finger tapping stops again. "A lot of people say that when they know someone who committed suicide. Maybe... Maybe people just aren't paying attention enough." Tony's voice lowers at the end.

"But it's a mass thing! It shouldn't... There's too many people becoming a part of it. They don't do it in the same place at the same time or have some religious leader like that article. There's just been a huge increase in suicide cases! That's not normal!" Quill argued before shaking his head. "Maybe I do need a break, this is just giving me a headache, and someone needs to watch Drax and Nebula so we don't get a repeat of last time. You coming?"

Gamora just shook her head, motioning for him to go on ahead as she stood to get a better look at the articles still showing on the table. He laid a hand on her shoulder for a second, watching her expression, before walking out and finding the rest of his team.

Silence spread in the room for the third time. They were the only ones left, and it was for a reason.

Loki and Heimdall sat on one corner, the chair Thor occupied was empty between them after he had left to battle Groot in some video game. Gamora didn't move from the other side of the room as the rest of her group left. Tony and Natasha remained in their spots at the middle of the table.

"FRIDAY, kill all audio and video recordings in this room now. Tell us if someone's approaching."

"What are you doing, Stark?"

He looked carefully at Gamora. "Don't play dumb, green Smurfette, it doesn't suit you. All of us in this room know what's happening and it's time we talk about it."

"Do we?" Loki inquired, his voice deep as he stared at a point on the table. "Do we really know what's happening, Tony?" A couple of years have done enough for majority of the Avengers to tolerate Loki, and vice versa, at the very least (Clint was always going to be wary of him, Loki was always going to be wary of Bruce, especially now that he's seemed to permanently accept his green counterpart), but Tony Stark and Loki had developed some sort of friendship in that time, though they'd both deny it. The two had similar stories, but they don't really want to think about that. Nor do they talk about it.

Natasha, also someone who had developed some sort of camaraderie with the god, leaned towards Loki's side of the table. "You do, don't you? You _feel_ it. We all do." At the last words, she looked at Gamora and Heimdall before settling back in her chair beside Tony. For the first time, they're openly talking about what used to be discussed through knowing glances and shared moments of silence.

"We should have expected it. These kinds of things don't always happen easily without repercussions." Gamora stumbled back to her seat. "My fa– _Thanos_," she corrected herself, "wouldn't have done things in a way that can easily be reversed."

"Death," Heimdall's voice was soft but clear, "is not something we should have played with."

"Well, _we_ didn't do it." Tony defensively replied. "For the record, I didn't do anything wrong this time. No one can pin this on me." Natasha saw how his tone consistently remained to be joking or just not serious in general, but it carried so much guilt for the past things that he still claims to have been his fault.

"So who are we pinning it on, then? Are you blaming the others? Danvers? The old Captain, who's actually old now? Maybe even Pepper?"

"NO!" Tony quickly glared at Natasha for even mentioning his wife. "No, I don't blame any of them because I know if I were in their position, and they were in mine, I would have done the same thing. If there's anyone to blame, it's that horrid, purple, dried up raisin."

"Is this confirmed then?" Gamora asked, still staring at the pictures in a way that makes Tony a bit worried so he discreetly motioned it away, leaving the table to just be a regular clear one for now. "The people who are killing themselves were the ones who died outside of the Snap? We all have this...urge...to meet our death?" She met Natasha's eyes with alarm in hers. Suspecting something is different from finally proving it to be true.

"I can say that my 'urge to meet my death' has been around for a very long time." Loki had also finally been able to look away from the table and adapt a conversational tone. "But I will also admit that this want of death has increased tenfold a few days after we had been resurrected."

"Facts match." Tony shrugged, "But no one was really able to put them together. There's some instances of suicides by those who didn't die at all and that caused people to go off that train of thought. But if you trace it back, most of their reasons tend to be the losing someone who was supposed to be dead through suicide. They lost the same person twice."

"What about those who were lost in Thanos' victory?" Gamora asked. "Those who had...turned into dust. Are they affected by this?"

"Those turned into dust? They were just trapped by the stones." Loki now leaned forward to fully immerse in the conversation. "Then they were set free. We were killed, murdered, whatever you call it. Our existence now is unnatural.

"Their situation is different than ours." Heimdall continued, agreeing with what Loki had said. "They were the goal of Thanos. His primary objective was to eliminate half the universe, and we," he gestured to Loki, Gamora, and himself, "were part of the process. Those who turned into dust were part of the result."

Natasha nodded, understanding the explanation quickly. "And when we tried to bring back everyone and defeat Thanos, Tony and I were part of the process."

"Yes," Heimdall continued. "They finished the plan and achieved the results. Bringing us back to life... That wasn't part of the plan. We were casualties of war, and we should have stayed that way. Results can be changed, but processes were needed to obtain the results. And they were obtained. Now, Death is calling us back to keep things in balance."

"Well, tell Death to stop calling. The phone is busy." Tony snapped. He stood up and looked at each of them. "Here's what we're going to do. We are NOT going to tell them about this."

"We could prevent the deaths–" Gamora interjected.

"No. We could do that by figuring out who were affected and reaching out to them _on our own_. Find out which planets have been affected, figure out who else has been killed in the battles."

Natasha rolled his eyes. "Don't be stup–"

"I agree." Loki added. "Telling them about this... We each have darkness inside all of us, we do not need to add to theirs."

"Poetic." Tony pointed at Loki. "But yes, it would also make them feel guilty and try to feel heroic again. They get very unpredictable when their heroic sides come to play."

"Of course, you'd know that well enough." Natasha's comment was ignored. "Wouldn't it be helpful to tell them? The pros outweigh the cons?"

Tony turned to face her. "Did I or did I not forget to mention earlier that some of those people who committed suicide were those who lost the same people _twice_? Do you want to tell Legolas, who witnessed you die in his place, that he brought you back, only to find out that you just want to die _more_?" She looked away first and turned silent. "'Cause, Nat, I don't really want to do that to Pepper."

Heimdall spoke up once more. "I do not think our desire to die is something we can avoid for long. One of these days, the pull will be too strong and we'll be powerless to stop it."

Tony spread his arms wide open. "THAT is why we have rule #2! Do. Not. Die. If you're feeling worse, find one of us, and we'll deal with it together. No matter what you do, it better be not dying or giving in to this stupid need for death."

Gamora shakily breathed out, feeling tears building up in her eyes. "I'm going to be with my team. Across the galaxy. It's not easy for me to just come back here. I... I can't..." She exhaled once. "Sometimes, I think the pull really is strong. I tried to convince myself at the start that I was just having a hard time understanding that I had already died and was just brought back to life. But at some point, I would suddenly find myself desperate to push my own swords through myself."

She remembers that day clearly. It was months after they had defeated Thanos and they were on their way to another planet to try and help them out. She was sitting on one of the corners of the ship, sharpening the blades of her sword when she accidentally cut her finger. It was a very, very small cut, but the pain had felt almost natural. It didn't sting and it just bled. Drops of blood slowly came out and, suddenly, she was moving her sword to make it bleed more, maybe even cut the entire hand off. If Peter hadn't managed to pass by at that time and push her to bandage the cut, then things could've gotten worse.

Natasha froze for a second before moving to stand beside Gamora and holding her hand. She understood what she meant. Just a few days ago, she was found herself wandering around the armory of the headquarters and had to stop herself from replying to Bucky so quickly when he had appeared and asked her what she was thinking so deeply about. She doubted that telling him she was thinking of all the ways these weapons could be used on her and which ones would make _her_ die quickly at that very moment, and was seriously considering doing one of the options, was an answer he was looking for.

"Then I think you could go and tell someone." She shot a glare at Tony who was about to protest. "It's up to you, just make the right choice. It's better for you to have someone you can count on, instead of us promising to be together when it's unrealistic."

Tony shut his eyes at the reminder of the first things he said to Steve back when he first came back from space. "Fine. I think Strange has an idea about all this anyway, with the way he was acting a while ago. Pretty sure he just has suspicions, but not the whole truth. Do what you want. Just stay alive and don't do anything reckless." He targeted the last one at the god of mischief, who only looked back at him with a raised eyebrow.

But of course Loki has already done something 'reckless'. What would have surprised other people to know was that Heimdall had been part of it too. With Valkyrie being the new leader of the Asgardians on Midgard, he, Heimdall, and Thor had set off to the different realms (at the blond ex-king's insistence) in order to offer assistance to recover from the battles if needed. They'd also been to see what remains of Asgard, and he can almost see Hela still fighting nonstop in the shadows. One night, Thor had volunteered to hunt something to eat in the forest while the two rest and set up camp. Yet, after doing all those, they were suddenly drawing swords and daggers, swinging and throwing at each other with an intent to kill and die in the process. Thor had loudly announced his return a few seconds after the fight had begun, to which they just chalked it up to an impromptu training session. After that, Heimdall and Loki made sure to let go of their weapons first before doing anything else. And if they planned to place it somewhere that would not be practical should something attack them out of nowhere, neither said a word.

Tony's eyes scanned each person in the room. They aren't saying everything. And it's fine. He's not eager to share his set of stories where these suicidal tendencies come rushing through him. He feels the slightest bit of relief at finally being able to talk about this with them, but weakens when he remembers what caused him to do so. Death has always beckoned to him, but he always resisted. The pull was always strong, but he would find the strength to push it back. The fear was unbearable though, when he realized that he was suddenly debating on jumping over the cliff of the mountain they were hiking yesterday while he was_ carrying Morgan in his arms_. At that moment, he knew this had to stop.

And it will.

It has to.

Cause he wouldn't know what to do if it doesn't.

Tony walked towards the door and immediately had the press conference smile on his face (that he knew Pepper hated) when he turned to look back at the others in the room. "We will get through this. We can. Just don't give in."

Natasha looked directly in his eyes. "Whatever it takes," she muttered in response, a determined look in her eyes. He nodded as he opened the door and walked out the room.

_Whatever it takes._

**《A》**

_**"What if I did something more and it–**_

_**BACKFIRED"**_

**\- Team Starkid, "_Backfire_"**

**《A》**

**I can't accept them dying but they can't be brought back now so let me just make myself stressed and sad and all the characters are suffering too, and the whole of Xandar is going to die cause they all did pre-snap**

**Thanks for reading 3**

**fin_apr262019_21:20**

**edit_jun262019_18:17**


	2. Everything Ends

_**Hello, this is to inform you that this has been edited,**_

_**but if you see any mistakes please inform me !**_

_**Also, Part III of the Inevitable Series is out (and is estimated to be 6-7 chapters)**_

* * *

_**Everything Ends: **_ s/13325765/1/Everything-Ends

_**Summary: It's all catching up to them now. Death really shouldn't have been messed with.**_

* * *

_**Or we could all just act like they handled everything well and everything is okay huhsdikauh**_**sgd**


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